For the last few weeks I’ve noticed a big change in my behavior. I’ve become snappy, distant and self obsessed with my work. My wife and two boys haven’t been receiving the attention they deserve and I’ve found myself unable to, up until now, understand why this is so.
Fortunately I’ve awoken from my dark place and started questioning my behavior and what I’ve done differently to cause such a change and it all starts with the computer or more importantly the internet!
Where I used to spend the odd afternoon after work researching the latest raw food recipes or vegan news and most evenings just browsing social networking sites and forums in the last month or so it’s become so much more! I think this is due, in some part to my obsessive desire and thirst for knowledge as when I get “into” something I take it to the extreme and become lost in my own little world seeking, questioning and learning. The other problem that’s detached me from the real world has been the time I’ve spent on Facebook. It’s addictive, period, and of no use really to any of use other than a great way to waste time and learn what some semi-stranger has had for supper. I’ve cancelled my account.
Just by no longer checking Facebook every day my family gained part of me back, how sad is that! I’d become so addicted to something so meaningless that I’d forgotten that there was a family around me needing my attention, love and help. While I was tapping away at the keyboard my good wife Becky was rushing around behind me tidying up, cooking dinner, entertaining Louie, sorting out activities for Oliver and generally pulling her hair out while I was sitting on my arse.
Since quitting Facebook I’ve also deleted two Hotmail accounts, three forum accounts and deleted my phone apps. I’ve also made the decision not to turn the computer on first thing in the morning and not to spend any time at my desk during the week until the boys are in bed.
The results are fantastic although a little embarrassing as now I spend my time where I should be rather than where I was. I now have breakfast with my family instead of my computer, I play with the boys more and have stopped snapping at them and I’ve also made a huge effort to help out around the house rather than just expecting Becky to do it all.
Whats really surprising about all this though is how easy it is to forget the important things like family and how easy it is to allow yourself to become obsessed with the internet. From now on I’m going to simplify my life even more, spend less time surfing and give my wonderful family the time and respect they deserve.